Friday, March 1, 2013

Family Fridays #2



Dare to Discipline......


The bible teaches us to spare not the rod, that your children need to be disciplined.  When I am referring to discipline, I am not talking about abuse.  I do not condone or advocate abuse in any way.  It is not right to abuse your children and if you abuse your child, you need to STOP! 

First you must remember that you are the parent and in charge.  You are not your child's friend or buddy.  That is where some parents err.  You cannot earn your child's respect if you are trying to put yourself at their level.  No pleading! I have seen parents do this and they are creating a monster.   Also, you must be consistent with your discipline.  If you are wishy washy, your children will quickly pick that up.  Even at a young age.  If you say that they are going to sit time out or get a spanking, then do not make a liar out of yourself.  Your child will quickly learn that you don't mean what you say.   No yelling either.   You need to be gentle and firm, and quickly set the guidelines down of who is in charge.  They will learn your stern, quiet tone of voice means business.     

When disciplining your children you have to set boundaries.  Be very plain in what you expect of them and what the consequences are if they do not obey.  It is also good to reward them for good behavior.  You have to have a balance.  Don't dwell on negative, you must reward positive behavior too.  One way is to have a chart up and let them earn behavior stars.  If they get so many, they earn an ice cream or some other treat.  Or if you have taken something away, you can also use this method for them to earn privileges back.   This reward system worked very well for my boys.  Children really do want to please you.  You just need to figure out what motivates your child.

There are many ways to discipline your child.  And if you are a parent of more than one child, you learn quickly that you have to discipline each child differently.  I had one child that was very stubborn.  Oh my, there was days I would be at my wits end.  Why this? How come this?  Don't give into it.  Sit them in their room until you can be in charge and deal with the situation.  When you have calmed, return to him and show him that no matter what, they are going to listen.  Then, one of my boys, all I had to do was look cross at him and he crumbled.  This son did not have to be spanked often, usually time out worked.  When I set my son on time out, I would not set him longer than his years.  If he was three, he set three minutes, and then we tried again.  If I had to result in spanking, I always spanked on the bottom.  Never hit, punch, or slap.  That is not disciplining, that is abuse.  Now, there were times I needed to get my boys attention fast with a pull of the hair at the nape or a tug of the hear.  That would work in some situations, but that was a rarity.  I don't recommend pinching, because you will leave marks or the child will yell out, don't pinch me.  Then all eyes will be on you! lol

Some ways to discipline:
-Time Out (I recommend 1 minute per year)
-Distracting (especially for younger children that don't understand)
-Ground them ( the room...they hate that)
-Deny Privileges ( The game, ipod, friends house, toys)
-Reward System ( a chart)
-Spanking

My SIL was at her child's school one day.  There was a young boy in the office with major behavior problem.  The teacher couldn't control him and the parent couldn't control him. He was kicking and screaming.  It was just not a good situation and they had to call the local authorities.  My SIL watched in amazement as the mom whined that she didn't know what to do.  To make a point, the officer placed the young boy in the squad car and returned to the mom and said,  "Do you know what your child needs? He needs a spanking.  It is okay to spank him."  So many believe that you cannot correct your child with a spanking and others believe that your are hurting them.  No, you are doing your child a grave injustice not disciplining them.  Because if you don't discipline them, society will by forms of legalities that you don't want to face.  If they will not listen to you, they will have to listen to someone. (like the authorities)

These are some methods that I have used that have worked for our family.  Parenting is a everyday battle, but I promise, if you discipline your children young, you will not have to discipline them much when they get older.  Parenting is so much more rewarding when you have children that behave.  But are you up to the task?  Do yourself a favor and discipline your children. 



Here are two excellent books for the raising of your children.  They are great books that I have personally read.

 The New Dare to Discipline    



Praying with you for stronger families!



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4 comments:

  1. I always enjoy reading your posts! Great work!

    I wanted to let you know that I am featuring Notions from Nonny at this week's Harvest of Friends Weekend Blog Hop.

    Thank you for all of your participation at Our Everyday Harvest! Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi There!
    Stopping by from What's Cooking in the Burbs to return the follow. I look forward to reading more of your blog. Have a great weekend!
    Bridget

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stopping over from Hope Whispers and following back :) Great post. My boys are more afraid of getting their Nintendo taken away than a spanking, but they know that if I say I will spank them, I mean it! Glad to have found you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for the wonderful article. We are struggling with a very willful three year old son. He is very trying. I think I will buy the books you mentioned.

    Thank you for the follow at This Southern Girl's Life. I am following you back. Hope you are having a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete

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